TO MY BETRAYAL

Sometimes people don’t do things to hurt you and we as humans are so blind that we take it wrong. Sometimes we never do anything wrong and people just stop believing you, when they should believe you could you never be traded them.

I once met a boy and at first I wasn’t interested but then I started to get to know him. He made me feel something I need felt before. I had fallen in love with him. When we told each other we loved each other it felt so real. I had never felt like this in my life. It was the most beautiful feeling in my life.

Loving each other knowing we couldn’t have a long distance relationship our love still grew. I remember we had a fight and we still stood strong, well as I thought. I was staying strong but he wasn’t, he got another girl behind my back and didn’t tell me. I notice because he was just acting so cold with me and I asked him what was wrong. He told me he needed to tell me something but he needed to wait till the right time. I had to tell him to tell me. He didn’t want to until I begged him. I knew it was going to hurt me and far enough he told me he was engaged. I remember that my whole world just stopped.

No matter what pain he made me feel I was always there. When he would fight with his girl I was always there giving him advice to get her back. It was hard being there for him, but I was. I would cry when he needed advice because it would just kill me inside, but I knew that with time everything I did for him will pay off. I always reminded him how much I loved him even when he was with his girl. I needed him to know that my feels will only grow and never fade.

Months later he found out his girl was pregnant from another guy. At first he didn’t mind but then she took it too far and he couldn’t take it no more and broke up with her. I do admit that I was kind of happy when he told me they broke up. Even though they were not together I didn’t get on his back to get with him. I and he would still talk and every day I will tell him how much I loved him.

Loving someone who doesn’t live in the same place as you is kind of hard, but when you would do anything and everything for that person you know you love that person. That’s how I felt, I felt, feel, and knew I would do anything and everything for him no matter how wrong he did me. I couldn’t leave his side even if I wanted too.

After a month he realized I loved him with all my heart and decided to ask me to be with him. To me it was a surprise because when we first realized we were falling in love we agreed on not having a long distance relationship, but when he asked me to be with him I didn’t think of it twice because he means so much to me. My friends always told me that they wouldn’t be able to trust someone that was a distance away. I knew it was crazy, but I trusted him with all my heart I never doubted him because he won my trust and something in my heart would always tell me to trust the one I love because if I don’t it would never work out.

After so much patience he broke up with me. I didn’t really ask questions why because I just needed to believe I gave him my all. After we separated we started fighting and just arguing. When I and he would argue I would hurt so badly, because I love him and when we would fight we would just hurt each other. At a point I got so tired of it I told him just to move on. At first I felt kind of relieved. After awhile I started dating another guy, this guy was always nice to me. One day he wanted me to tell him I loved him when I didn’t feel like that. I knew that if I were to say it I could hurt him and didn’t want too. He tried to push me too it and I just couldn’t take it and started crying. After I got off the phone with him I right away called my ex and I cried telling him how much I missed him. At this point it was too late when I realized I had made a mistake telling him to move on.

I hated missing someone so much. We still didn’t talk anymore and that would kill me more. All this suffering just really made me want to quit on my dreams. I was at the point of dropping out of school. I didn’t want to work I didn’t even try anymore. I remember it was just so hard for me to concentrate and try. One day I just woke up and said, “No, I’m not going to quit on my dreams… if I lost the one I love I’m not going to lose the dreams I want to accomplish.”

Now, we talk again but things are so complicated. I feel like I let him down. I know i didn't do anything to be trade him but I feel like i let him down. I was always there before and at the end i decided to stay away and not be there. I think that was the most biggest mistake I did through out the whole time. It sucks so bad because now i have to fight to try to earn his trust and love back. So many ba dthings but one good thing about this whole situation is that I got to mature so much, I got to be an adult and handle my own problems and agree with the mistakes i made.

The moral of the story is.... there is no moral. We have to live one day at a time and let life takle its course. Think that everything that happens to you, happens for a reason that you may not know, but soon you'll be able to realize every mistake in life.

Proposal

My Courage

In life you always have to have courage if not your nothing. In my life I’ve had many times I have had to be strong and have courage. For many teens and myself is hard to talk to your parents. My parents have always told me that they are will always be there for me whenever I need them. I was raised a way that many kids aren’t. My parents have lots of trust for me and my siblings and if we lose that trust we lose everything.

Recently I have been thinking about dropping out of school because my life isn’t that easy. It’s so hard to stay on task for so long and just focus when you have a million things running through your head. Last year I went to AIMS@UNM and it was difficulty, so I fell behind in credits. For falling behind in credits I had to go to night school this whole school year so I was caught up. I go Mondays and Wednesdays from 5:45pm to 9:30pm.

The first semester was fine and I didn’t really complain. This semester it was just hard since the beginning. I get so frustrated when I start failing one class. I work so hard most of the year that I can’t believe I stop carrying till now. I was just getting so frustrated and mad that I just stop trying. I just didn’t care anymore. It was so hard not to care because I would think about it when I got home and I look back at all the years I busted my ass to get here and quit. I would cry because I miss being so motivated.

From losing that motivation I had to find a way to get courage to tell my parents. I thought about it for awhile. One night my dad and I were sitting in one of the living rooms and I just let my feelings out. I told my dad that I just didn’t want to be in school that I just didn’t try anymore. When I told him I thought that he was going to get mad at me but no, he didn’t. My dad just told me that he wasn’t going to force me to be is at place I don’t want to be because it wouldn’t make a difference. When he told me that I got the goose bumps because I know how much it means to him that I get my education.

Just yesterday my life, thoughts and feelings changed. Yesterday when I got home from school.

The Time

Where would you go if you built a time -traveling machine? I know i would want to go to many places if i had a time -traveling machine, but in this case it wouldn't be a big change in time. I would want to go back to the year 2009 because I would change a lot of things I did. I would want to go back to change my actions and choices I had in between. In this case I would never had talk to a certain person and/ or ask him questions.

If i could go back to the year 2009 I would because my world had a big change. My life has always been different from normal or just other teenagers. As many know I have a sick brother and my family has always lived on a pack of worries. It’s so funny that my brother isn’t the reason why I would want to go back to 2009.

In 2009, a lot of people started to talk to me and I had met this special person. It was a guy and at first I wasn’t interested, but he just kept insisting. Finally, I gave him my number and we started to get to know each other from the inside. A couple of months have passed by when we notice that we were falling in love with each other. One day he finally told me he loved me and I responded with “I Love You Too!”

Those words changed everything from that day. Everything was going great because we both loved each other. We had a beautiful relationship for a while; it was all happiness and no tears. Around May things started to get weird and we started having problems and he started acting cold with me. That coldness hurt me and I had to ask him why he was acting so cold. I don’t think I will ever forget the words he told me when I asked him. The words he told me were, “I have another girl and I’m engaged.” … when those words were said to me, it killed me. I remember I never wanted to talk to him again.

Eventhough I never again wanted to talk to him, I did; and every time i would talk to him, the love I had for him would grow more